Be – Do – Have

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If you are unhappy with your life, have you ever thought back to when you were younger and how you then wanted your life to be like. What did you want to be?  What did you want to do? What did you want to have? It is an interesting and eye opening exercise and below is how you can do this. Some things you may have gained, so you can think about if they were as you expected. Where things are not as you hoped you can think about what is different and why. Is there a way of altering anything for the better? Are the things you wanted still practical and achievable?  How would your life change if you gained them? Who else would be affected?

BE:

Stage1.

List all the things you always wanted to be. You can go right back to your childhood and teenage years as well as thinking about how you want to be now.

Be adventurous and put it all down. Include things you feel are impossible, silly or wacky. Don’t be afraid.

Put down the things you wanted to BE in terms of intrinsic characteristics, like happy/compassionate/liked, as well as how you would like to be seen by others and the external or life roles or jobs you wanted to hold.

Get a list of as many things as possible.

When you are happy that you have completed your list, move to stage 2.

Stage 2.

Take each of the things you have listed and decide if you already are any of them, or if they are things you could still attain. Circle these as reminders. You might want to use two different colour pens to separate those you already are from those you could still realistically attain. Write each in the centre of a separate sheet so you can begin to make a word web. This word web can be built up to help you consolidate your. thinking about each item and what it means to you.

 

DO:

Stage 1 for the DO activity is very similar to that of BE.

Stage 1.

List all the things you always wanted to DO. You can go right back to your childhood and teenage years as well as thinking about would still like to DO.

Be adventurous and put it all down. Include things you feel are impossible, silly or wacky. Don’t be afraid.

Get a list of as many things as possible.

When you are happy that you have completed your list, move to stage 2.

Stage 2.

Circle those things you have already DONE, and those you would still like to DO.

With each of the things you have DONE write a few sentences about how you felt when you had done them.

This is about the sense of achievement and the rewards psychologically and/or practically.

For the things you would still like to DO rate them on a 1 – 10 scale. Rate at 10 each of the things high on your ‘wish to achieve’ agenda, and the rest in descending order. You may have clusters or items or words under each number.  If so you may want to re-arrange them so that each number has a further rating within it. So that, for example, you might have six under number eight so you could mark them A,B,C,D,E,F, with A. being the most important or feasible of that grouping.

This should enable you to prioritise and plan for your further achievements.

You may have to take some time to look at practical issues and feasibility and plan for short term, medium term and long term. If a thing is, from your present perspective, not practical or feasible do not discount it, things can change.

 

HAVE:

Stage 1.

List all the things you always wanted to HAVE. You can go right back to your childhood and teenage years as well as thinking about would still like to HAVE.

Be adventurous and put it all down. Include things you feel are impossible, silly or wacky. Don’t be afraid.

Get a list of as many things as possible.

When you are happy that you have completed your list, move to stage 2.

Stage 2.

Look at the things you already HAVE and write a few sentences about each of them and how you feel now you have them. What do they mean to you?

With the things you would still like to HAVE, look at them and complete the exercise in the same way as for the DO list. With those highest on your rating scale also look at what it will mean to you to have this. Ensure the outcome will be positive. Remember the saying “Be careful what you wish for – you may get it”!